It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
