hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Im part way to drunk.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
