What a fucking waste of an outfit
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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