I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
