Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
