I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
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It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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