apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
