I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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