she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
