entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you will always have a special place in my vag
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
