i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize