i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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