question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
