Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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