my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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