he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
