So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
