So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
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I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
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I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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