You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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