this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
