Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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