Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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