There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
