Whod you bang
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
