you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
