Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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