I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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