We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
