Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Drunk is not a location!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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