Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize