I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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