I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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