Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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