sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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