Buhtt sex?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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