I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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