I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Randomize
