My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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