I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
