Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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