Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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