I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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