you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
