escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
