She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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