never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
