Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
