there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
