I'm eating all of the evidence.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
