I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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