when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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