Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
