margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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