I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
