I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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