3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
