The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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