Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
