Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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