I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
